18 months... it's not a long time, but while we were trying to have a family every month felt like an eternity. To be a family seemed like an unachievable goal. But we did it. We got there, with a little help along the way.
I got the most help from my friends on an internet forum that we'll call the PP. We'd all got married and then decided to start a family. Some were lucky and got pregnant within a couple of months. For others it took a little longer. Others got pregnant and then had miscarriages or lost babies later on in pregnancy. Others sadly had to deal with neonatal death. All these women are incredibly strong, brave women who inspired me to keep on keeping on.
My friends on the PP informed me about all kinds of alternative therapies from nutritional therapy, reflexology, acupuncture and hypnotherapy. Without the recommendation to try acupuncture I wouldn't have found my wonderful fertility consultant Mr Watson.
Mr Watson, what a wonderful man. I remember the first time I went to see him. I took my charts and letters from the NHS with the results of all the tests I'd undergone and the medication I was taking. He asked me how I felt on the medication (Metformin) and I remember telling him, as tears rolled down my cheeks, that it made me feel dreadful. That I couldn't face eating as I felt permanently sick, but that I had to eat to take the medication and that the medication was my only hope that I'd have a family one day. He told me to stop taking it immediately and as I was at the right point in my cycle he prescribed Clomid for me. Clomid.. the drug I'd been after on the NHS for 2 years. 20 minutes with Mr W and there it was, a little prescription which could potentially hold the key to my dreams.
The clomid didn't work. It gave me terrible headaches, mood swings and hot flushes. After 3 cycles of that Mr W scrapped that and put me on Tamoxifen, which basically does the same as Clomid but without the side effects. It did work in that I got pregnant, but that was my first biochemical pregnancy and I lost the baby before I even knew it was there.
By this time, I was 39 and Mr W decided it was time for drastic action. IVF with ICSI. I responded well, but slowly to my drugs and it worked! But again it was another biochemical pregnancy and I lost that baby two days after I found out s/he was there.
Never mind, we'll try again... cycle two added some steroids in to the mix and yes, it worked... but no, yet again it was a biochemical pregnancy and again we grieved for what so nearly was.
Mr W said we should take a short break for a few months to let my body recover from all the fertility drugs we'd put into it in the past year. We planned a holiday to Singapore, Australia and New Zealand and had a fantastic time. We discussed adopting a family and did some reading while we were away. One night we went to the Polynesian Spa. This is an amazing hot springs in Rotarua. We bathed in the hot waters beneath the stars and formulated our plan. We'd try ICSI one more time. If it didn't work, that was it. Adoption would be the way to our family.
June 2008 found us back at the clinic with Mr W. We explained that this would be our last shot and we wanted to put everything into it. We didn't want to leave anything to chance. So this time I responded well to the drugs. I produced 20 eggs from 12 follicles and 10 fertilised. When my embryos were 5 days old, two were transferred back into me... 1st August 2008 was the day we found out that I was very, very pregnant. My HCG levels were high and it looked like the steroids, extra progesterone injections and Clexane injections had done the trick. I WAS PREGNANT AT LAST!
Two weeks later we went for our first scan. Mr W asked me how I was feeling... I said, no symptoms at all. Mr W pulled a face but got me to hop up on the couch and began to scan me... "There's a heartbeat," he said
"Only one?" I asked forlornly...
"Nope, there's another heartbeat!"
Oh my goodness my dreams of being a mummy to two children looked like they were going to come true!
The weeks went on and we had a scan every other week in the early weeks to see how the babies were getting on. Every week they were there, still strong and getting bigger every week.
When I was 11 weeks pregnant we went along for our NHS booking in appointment and 11 week scan. It was during this scan, which used a much more powerful scanner than was available at our fertility clinic, that we discovered that the L'il bundles were identical twins and also that there had been a third baby who had stopped developing at 6 weeks. So I had been pregnant with triplets. We had a moment of sadness, but then relief filled us that not only were our bundles still there and still strong, but that there were two of them. Two babies is plenty. Two babies was what I'd dreamed of for years.
The weeks and months went on. The pregnancy was easy. The only problem I had was that my left leg would go numb if I stood or walked for more than 10 minutes. But that was a small price to pay for the joy that was to come.
On the 16th March 2009 David and Joseph were born at 15.33 and 15.34. Two perfect baby boys.
What gorgeousness. Could these beautiful boys really be mine? Surely it's a dream?
No, these boys are my boys. Every day has been a joy since they have arrived. Every day I have smiled. Sometimes I shed a tear of joy because I am Mummy and David and Joe are my sons.
Happy 18 month Birthday boys! We love you to infinity, beyond and back again.
x
I remeber the day they were born as if it was yesterday - how time flies x
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs x